Fake news? Through the worldwide resources of CityNews, ROBERT MACKLIN received an exclusive transcript of the unknown meeting when Albo actually, really met Donald Trump in Canada.
Scoop! Unbeknown to the press team following our international gadabout Prime Minister A Albanese, he and America’s monarch-in-waiting, President D J Trump really did have that meeting in Calgary, Canada.
And through the worldwide resources of CityNews, we received a transcript of the meat of the meet after they chose a “Top Secret for Eternity” label on it. It took place in the helicopter taking DT to Air Force 1 at the Calvary airport.
We have edited it for obscenities and profanities.
AA: G’day Mr President.
DT: Who the (edited) are you?
AA: Anthony Albanese. I snuck in while no one was watching.
DT: Whadaya want?
AA: Just a bit of a chat. Otherwise, my opposition leader…
DT: What’s that?
AA: We have them at home. Leader of the Liberal Party, Sussan Ley.
DT: Chinese?
AA: I don’t think so. She’s a farmer. Flies her own plane.
DT: Keep an eye on her. What’s your biggest building?
AA: I don’t know. Probably the Barangaroo Casino.
DT: Really? You have a casino. I used to own six of them. Anyway, a liberal, that’s bad enough.
AA: I blew them out of the water in our last election.
DT: So did I. Hey, your initials are AA. What’s that you’re drinking?
AA: Billy tea. I carry my own little bags. The pilot gave me some hot water.
DT: Oh, right. How long’s it been?
AA: Maybe half an hour.
DT: Well, good luck with it. Never touch the stuff myself…
AA: Oh, my initials, no,no,no…anyway Yours are DT ! I was that before you were an Apprentice.
DT: I was a TV star; my ratings were sky high?
AA: And how are they now?
DT: (edited)
AA: The Chinese called me young and good looking.
DT: You’re going bald.
AA: (edited)
DT: Speaking of initials, what’s this A.U.K.U.S thing?
AA: AUKUS – Australia, UK, US.
DT: (edited) Forget it. I stand for America first!
AA: That would make it USUKA.
DT: Right, he-he, Usuka.
AA: No, you sucker.
DT: Your deputy just gave Pete Hegseth $800 million. You sucker.
AA: I’m sure you got your cut.
DT: (edited) Anyway, I’ll get your tariffs on beef.
AA: Americans eat six billion hamburgers a year. Seventeen point five per cent is Australian beef.
DT: That’s crazy. You can’t have point five per cent of a hamburger. Take that out and what’s left?
AA: I don’t know. I’ll ask Jim Chalmers when I get home. He’s the numbers man.
DT: Just thinking… six billion, that’s about what my bank balance looks like. How about you?
AA: Not quite. But my mother always said: “Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.”
DT: I wish I had a mother.
AA: Chin up. You’ve got a very big family.
DT: Yeah, some people say, the biggest in the world… Gotta get out here. You stick to that tea.
AA: Thanks mate; will do. And thanks very much for the face-to-face. Frank and fearless I call it.
DT: Yeah…we did say ‘for eternity’ didn’t we.
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