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Queanbeyan Today 0°/7° | Tuesday, May 14, 2024 | Digital Edition | Crossword & Sudoku

Empty shoes bring home the message on men

Last year’s display of shoes and, inset, Paul Withall… “Australian men are in dire need of a Minister for Men, that’s what I’m hoping to achieve.”

PAUL Withall, president of the Zerosuicide Community Awareness Program, has extended an invitation to Australia to be present at “the largest visual presentation of men’s suicide in the world”.

In last year’s event, one shoe was laid down on Parliament House’s ACA Lawn for each man or boy who had died by reported suicide.

Paul says that’s 2358 empty shoes. 

“But, we laid down 2500 as road toll deaths and drug overdoses are not always reported as suicide,” says Paul.

“Last year was our first year doing this display at Parliament House… it’s a very powerful image.”

Paul says there are typically three reasons for men to attempt to end their lives – family or relationship breakdown, loss of access to or contact with children, and financial reasons.

“Men are four times more likely to die from an attempt to end their own lives than women are,” he says.

“Everyone knows men’s suicide rate is higher, we are currently losing between 40 and 50 men every week.

“We are endeavouring to create a ripple effect of positive awareness through education on this situation, for International Men’s Day, November 19.

“This is not a protest, but a memorial for the families to have recognition of their loved ones, and where people come together and have conversations about reducing the number of male suicides.”

Paul, now 46, admits he tried to take his own life at the ages of 14 and 17, which is helping drive his fight and passion for change.

“I’m just driven, I have people who are pushing me, supporting me,” he says.

“I’m a showy, carnival man for work, so I’m pretty raw and I’m not afraid of much, and if I stop now I’ll let all these people down.”

Paul says while it is important to curb the issue all together, stopping the rising numbers of attempts is the bare minimum.

“Clearly the services, phone numbers and systems already in place are not working,” he says.

“Australian men are in dire need of a Minister for Men, that’s what I’m hoping to achieve.

“With the suicide rate climbing every year, it is about time our government started working on a solution.”

Paul says when a man has had enough, made up his mind, there’s often no changing it.

“Phone numbers don’t stop men committing suicide, because men bottle things up, afraid of feeling weak and being judged,” he says.

“As a support person helping many people daily, I come up against a brick wall every day in getting help and services for men, and the support groups I work with all have the same problems.

“When ladies need help it is so easy for them to get accommodation or referrals to services, and that’s terrific, yet it’s almost impossible to get the same for men.

“So, we have put together a list of things a Minister for Men could do, to help the entire society.”

Paul says there has been more than $1 billion spent on women leaving domestic violence situations, but not $1 spent on men for the same.

“There is also not one refuge in Australia where men who are leaving a domestic violence situation can go with their children,” he says.

“Domestic violence stems from problems in life or relationships, or even substance abuse. Putting funding in place for men, to have a real voice, or funding towards education or counselling services, can help curb this issue.

“Blaming a gender causes further division, further hate, and more isolation, when the focus needs to be on support.”

Paul says it’s true, men can cause issues at home, but helping to give men a voice, and putting services in place, or encouragement to check on their welfare, can make all the difference.

“In a promising start, 12 senators have confirmed they will be attending this year’s display, with members of parliament from all sides,” he says.

“Some will be giving speeches, too. We’re holding two events, November 16 from 10am to 4pm on the ACA Lawns at Parliament House, and then on International Men’s Day, November 19.

“This year we will be laying down one shoe for each male that died by suicide in 2022, and this will surpass the 2500 deaths of last year.

“This cry for help is real, please take five minutes of your day to visualise the sheer number of male suicides in Australia, every year.

“By dealing with the issues facing men in today’s society, we build a stronger, safer environment for women too, for everyone.”

Lily Pass

Lily Pass

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