“By the PM’s behaviour, he has arguably demeaned women by subjecting them to judgment about whom he was willing to “shag, marry or date”. Whether they had a view on it or not.” Columnist ROBERT McMAHON thinks Albanese has gone too far.  

In 1867, Walter Bagehot, the prodigious essayist on government, monarchy and science, published The English Constitution.

He argued Britain’s unwritten constitution had two parts: “dignified” elements that inspire public reverence; and “efficient” ones that make government work. In his view, the Crown provided the dignity that complemented the efficiency of government.

It’s just as well this conceptual formulation does not require members of the government to act with dignity. Or propriety. Or even decorum. Because our PM, Anthony Albanese, recently acted in a way that made even me, a grizzled former bureaucrat from PM&C who has seen more than his fair share of indecorous behaviour, blink.

In short, Albanese’s behaviour was nothing short of vulgar and embarrassing.

In a recent interview with a social media influencer for a podcast, Albanese was asked about his sex life. Readers of this column may, at this point, feel the necessity to put down CityNews and go and fetch a cup of tea. Green will not do. Black and strong will be needed.

Now that you’re suitably fortified, let us resume. Albanese was asked in the “interview” whether he and his new wife were still “bonking like rabbits”. To which our PM responded: “When we have time. After the footy. It’s always a good aphrodisiac, a Souths win”.

Mr Albanese was then asked to play a game, commonly played at parties or in drinking sessions: shag, marry, date. Notwithstanding this tawdry background, the PM went on to willingly participate. He was then posed the following options: “Shag, marry, date: Kylie Minogue, Nicole Kidman or Rhonda Burchmore?”

Instead of demurring in the interests of propriety, Albanese chose his paramour: “Oh Kylie, clearly.” Not content to leave any of any romantic options on the table, he clarified: “All of the above. She’s terrific.”

The interview then moved to the Japanese Prime Minister’s recent visit to Australia, during which she presented Albanese with royal melons to mark a trade pact.

Cupping his hands at chest level, Albanese remarked: “She’d brought two, as you do”, to which the interviewer then suggested the leader of our major ally had “brought two, looking like Pamela Anderson”. Albanese retorted: “And they’re beautiful!”

No longer are PMs able just to issue a press release popped into Canberra Press Gallery pigeonholes or to give a press conference, confident information will reach voters.

These days, politicians must modify their message to meet their audience. While in the days of John Howard, that amounted to participating in occasional talk-back radio segments, it has more recently moved to where the eyeballs and ears reside: podcasts, FM radio and self-produced TikTok and Instagram posts, often involving politicians performing ridiculous stunts to attract attention. 

But Albanese’s recent interview went a good deal further. He is our national leader. Our head of government. Responsible for representing our nation domestically and internationally. The temporary elected steward of our national values and interests.

It is therefore incumbent upon the prime minister to exercise decorum and to avoid vulgarity in his conduct and communication. Especially in an official capacity involving international affairs.

This critique is not some prudish tut-tutting of a PM who has exercised poor judgment in striving to make himself relatable to younger voters. By the PM’s behaviour, he has arguably demeaned women by subjecting them to judgment who he was willing to “shag, marry or date”. Whether they had a view on it or not. 

But there was something much more sinister at play – which I am not suggesting the PM or his office knowingly promulgated by participating in this sordid little game. The original derivation of the “shag, marry, date” game was one called “f**k, marry, kill”. Quite aside from the vulgarity and sexism of using women as unknowing participants in a game, the PM’s office seriously erred in allowing him to take part in something whose origins are far more menacing.

Before Albanese flew out on an international visit to advance Australia’s interests in the Pacific, he issued an “unequivocal apology” for his comments. As well he might – because this interview was a most egregious misjudgment by the prime minister and his office, demeaning women and embarrassing Australia in the eyes of a major ally.

What the hell was he thinking?

Dr Robert McMahon PSM is a visiting fellow at the Australian National University, adjunct professor at the University of Canberra, and former assistant secretary of the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet.

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