Whimsy columnist CLIVE WILLIAMS devotes his column to digital living –  the art of being constantly connected, yet somehow never truly there.

Digital living is now the default setting of our lives. We’ve transitioned from the hum of the morning radio to the chirp of push notifications, all before we’ve even put the kettle on. 

In an era where your smart fridge knows you better than your neighbour does, the line between convenience and dependency is finer than ever.

Take, for example, the peculiar ritual of “doom scrolling”. For the uninitiated (likely a rare breed), this is when one spends hours in a trance-like state, thumbing through updates that are equal parts mundane and apocalyptic. 

Never mind that it’s 11.45 pm and tomorrow’s alarm is only a blink away – there might just be one more comment about the neighbour’s missing cat or that mildly heated thread on whether pineapple belongs on pizza. Spoiler: It doesn’t.

Yet, this digital life isn’t just a new habit; it’s the latest evolution in our collective survival instinct. Gone are the days when survival meant learning to wield fire or build shelter; today, it’s about keeping your wi-fi stable and remembering at least three different passwords (two of which you’ll always forget).

Of course, we’ve been sold the dream of seamless living where smart devices make life smoother, less cluttered. But let’s talk about that idyllic vision. 

Imagine it’s a brisk Saturday morning and you’re prepping for a trip to the farmers’ market. You speak the now-common phrase: “Hey Siri, play my morning playlist,” only to have her misunderstand and launch into an audio book on Stoic philosophy. A modern dilemma – do you correct her or let Marcus Aurelius remind you that life’s inconveniences are all just “opportunities for virtue”?

For many, the idea of going back to a purely “offline” existence stirs equal parts nostalgia and terror. Yes, it would mean the end of 24/7 exposure to kitten videos and TikTok dances, but it would also end the existential question of whether you really need to watch “just one more” review of air fryers. 

The fear of missing out (FOMO), once reserved for not attending social events, now applies to the digital sphere: what if today’s viral moment is the moment?

Yet not everything in our digital tapestry is a cause for alarm. There’s charm in finding niche corners of the internet that remind us of its original intent: connection. 

Whether it’s joining a thread dedicated to knitting hybrid llama-ostrich sweaters (it’s out there) or sharing a laugh in a group chat, there’s still some humanity tucked between the megabytes.

And that brings me to my friend Dave, a man who was convinced he could outsmart technology, if only in this one instance. He upgraded to a smart assistant, boasting that it would make life simpler. 

On the first day, I watched him try to set a timer for his casserole:

“Hey, Alexa, set a timer for 40 minutes.”

The assistant chirped back, “Starting a 40-minute playlist of relaxing jazz.”

Forty-five minutes later, Dave’s casserole was overdone, the kitchen smelt like charcoal, and “Take Five” was still playing. Dave looked at me, jazz gently crooning behind him, and said: “Well, at least she’s got taste.”

Digital living – it keeps us on our toes, even when our toes are just tapping to jazz.

I should reveal that this Whimsy column on digital living was entirely digitally generated!

Clive Williams is a Canberra columnist