In his series of stories of remarkable Canberrans, DAVID TURNBULL meets former mariner Michael Aichholzer, who in 2022 started life coaching at Braidwood Central School and each term since then new schools have joined in.
Michael Aichholzer openly admits he ran away from home at 15 to join the Navy to get away from his father.
“Dad was violent to mum and me regularly,” he says. “He worked hard, drank hard and played hard. That’s how blokes were back in the ’60s and he wanted me to be the same.”
Retired from the Navy, Michael started running life-coaching sessions at high schools in and around Canberra, helping adolescent boys navigate the road to adulthood, and he’s been overwhelmed by the demand.
He’s now doing sessions at seven schools, and it’s growing every term.
Michael was born in Zurich, Switzerland, in 1961, and migrated to Australia with his parents and two sisters in 1966. He has two brothers who were born here.
Like many European migrants, the family first settled at the Bonegilla Migrant Camp in Victoria and then moved all over NSW and Queensland as his dad followed work.
“Dad was a meat worker and we were uprooted every year or so,” he recalls. “I had to get out because I didn’t want to be the same as him.
“Problem was I jumped out of the frying pan into the fire – the Navy was full of blokes just like my dad.”
Michael was married and divorced with a young daughter before he was 20.
“I was just trying to fit in, behaving the same as all the other guys.”
Years later, he rang his ex-wife and daughter, apologised for how he’d walked out on them and established what is now a healthy relationship.
The turning point came when Michael met his second wife, Catherine. Her father was a big, powerful man, an ex-RAF physical training instructor and professional wrestler, strong, but with a loving, caring side.
“Emile taught me you could be a real man and be gentle and caring at the same time,” Michael says.
After 35 years in the Navy, Michael retired with an adjustment disorder that was triggered by PTSD he’d suffered during active service in Iraq.
In retirement, he’s trying to give back to the community.
“I don’t have any specific university qualifications in psychology or anything. I have a bachelor of arts in international development, and a masters in strategy and security,” he says.
“But I’ve got my own journey, and a lifetime of experience training young people.”
The name of Michael Aichholzer’s business – Silver Mongo Enterprises – gives us a better idea of where he is coming from.
The business logo is a gorilla’s face – a silverback gorilla from central Africa to be precise. That accounts for the silver (along with his own beard and hair colour). The “Mongo” is a Navy nickname from a character in the western comedy “Blazing Saddles”.
“He was the big, dumb guy who rode into town on a bull,” Michael says with a grin.
“The gorillas are important to me because they are so strong and powerful, yet so calm and caring, only using their power to defend their troops.
In 2022 “Mongo” started doing life coaching at Braidwood Central School and the teachers were impressed enough to ask him back.
Each term since then new schools have joined in.
Now he’s fully booked with weekly sessions at Braidwood, Gold Creek, Caroline Chisholm, Amaroo, Melba Copland and the Oranna Steiner School.
This has all grown from youth workers and teachers spreading the word.
“I think the thing that is different is that I’m not telling them how to act. I give them a voice, their own voice, and we talk about how they see the world and how they fit into it.”
The sessions are for students aged between 12 and 15. They started off just for boys, but now female students have asked to do the sessions as well.
The schools select young people they believe could benefit from the program, and the students are invited to participate. It is voluntary.
Michael uses what he calls “The Circle” – like the age-old practice of indigenous elders from around the world meeting around a campfire.
“Essentially, we sit in a circle, no top, no bottom, everyone equal, and we share our thoughts and feelings about key issues,” he says.
“Sometimes there’s half a dozen, generally about 10.
“It’s important to understand these are not “problem students”; they’re just young people the youth workers believe could gain from doing some life coaching.
“It is always left up to the students themselves to choose whether they want to take part.
“The truth is: they learn more from each other than they do from me. I just steer the conversation.
The Circle is based on three core values: Strength (both physical and moral), Honour (honesty and integrity) and Compassion (how we treat others).
In a typical session, Michael will lead the discussion through subjects such as purpose and meaning, honesty, gender stereotypes, effective communication, social media, bullying, racial issues, positive body image, respect and everyday survival skills.
“There is no strict running sheet. There are issues, of course, that I want to prioritise, but it is vital that the young people themselves take the conversation to the subjects they want to talk about.
“These days, with social media, and mass communications, not all the role models out there are positive and young people get anxious and confused about what they are supposed to be.
“Trying to fit in, they can easily fall in with exactly the wrong crowd.
“What I’m trying to do is to help them set their own values, to help them believe in themselves, and make decisions that are good for them.”
Braidwood Central School reached for Michael’s services after the town had faced a series of tough challenges.
Deputy principal Letisha Salzke says: “Our students had seen years of drought, the bushfires of 2019 and 2020, then the covid lockdowns, and we wanted to support their wellbeing.”
And here’s some anonymous feedback from students to protect their privacy.
“I have a clearer idea of gender stereotypes and how to be the person I want to be.”
“I understand that emotions are natural, but how I respond to them is a choice.”
“I know how important respect and trust are in my relationships with others.”
Journalist David Turnbull is writing a series of profiles about interesting Canberrans. Do you know someone we should feature? Share the name in an email to David via editor@citynews.com.au
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