“EXPECT to fail,” is sport and exercise psychologist Dr Richard Keegan’s advice to anyone setting New Year’s resolutions, but failure shouldn’t be final.
“Failure is not final and catastrophic. It is much healthier to say I failed at my goal today, but I’ve got another chance tomorrow and I can be better, and more informed in my pursuit,” he says.
The most frequent mistake people make when setting their resolutions is becoming too ambitious, which is what makes New Year’s resolutions famous for failing after only a couple of days.
Every year, “being healthier” is a consistent and highly popular New Year’s resolution – including exercising more, and losing weight.
“It could be setting a certain number of visits to the gym per week, or a number of hours in the gym, or sometimes people are looking for a certain level of achievement whether that be weight, body shape or how much they can lift,” says Keegan.
Keegan references a “Discover Happy Habits” article which lists two of the most popular resolutions for 2022 as living healthier, and losing weight, with another study by “A Sports Community” revealing that walking is the most popular way for Australians to get their physical exercise in, closely followed by going to the gym, swimming and running.
“Focus on how you feel, focus on something that isn’t a number, focus on the experience when in pursuit of these goals and you’ll find more success.
“Usually the weightiness of New Year’s resolutions is that people go for something really big, which is all good, but any psychologist would say you need to come down to what is achievable right now, build up from where you’re at and then work your way up to the goal.”
The rule-of-thumb guide is that new habits can take up to three months to stick.
“You get to the point where you’re not doing it for some external reason, but doing it because that’s who you are and what you do now,” says Keegan.
“That transition from chasing rewards or avoiding unpleasantness through to finding gratification and enjoyment in doing the actual tasks, it’s motivation.”
Keegan says humans are quite complex creatures, and a little change in circumstance can throw all of our well-worn habits into disarray.
“Make small, incremental, tolerable changes to activity levels, sleep patterns or nutrition,” he says.
“Sleep is undervalued, we don’t know that it’s a problem until it’s broken. On average we sleep eight hours a night because that’s about enough time for our brain – in terms of learning, consolidating memories, shifting neurotransmitters – to recharge almost like a battery.
“The constant question needs to be what changes are you prepared to make that aren’t so big that they won’t stick? So make small, incremental, tolerable changes until you’re getting the outcomes that you need.”
The other thing that makes sticking to resolutions hard, is having to change a “well-grooved life”.
“People already have a well-grooved life, we’re doing what we do because of circumstances, our job or school, so to go and carve out a new groove for ourselves takes some time,” says Keegan.
“Even if I asked you to do something completely pleasant, steal an hour of your day that you would’ve been doing something else in, and just sit down and relax, even that might be too much of a change to fit around your normal everyday commitments.
“That is what you’re up against, you’re juggling your whole lifestyle and it usually takes a lot of trial and error, and patience, to achieve that big shift most people are pursuing with New Year’s resolutions.”
And, he says, goal setting itself is a skill.
“People need to understand that setting goals once a year for ourselves might not reflect that skilled habit of adjusting, tweaking, adapting and setting more appropriate goals, and changing them in response to sickness or circumstance.
“You might say you’re going to get good at setting little short goals, and that is what is going to steer you towards this bigger journey. Not only are you pursuing that bigger goal but you’re learning to navigate towards it through setting and monitoring these little microscopic goals, day to day and week to week.”
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