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Whimsy columnist CLIVE WILLIAMS got predictable responses when he researched an article on what gave people pleasure, so he changed his question and asked what people found annoying. Then things got interesting…
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” –Isaac Asimov
I started off doing an article about what gave people pleasure, based on responses from a range of people – and got predictable responses.
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They included: enjoying family and friends, exercising, engaging in/watching sport, having sex, eating and drinking, travelling, pets, TV and radio, making and spending money, doing puzzles, gardening, reading a good book, etcetera.
When I asked them what they found annoying or irritating, I got much more specific responses, such that I was able to categorise them into “Driving”, “Phones and Internet” and “Social and Behavioural”.
In fact, I got so many that I’m having to spread them out over two issues (this is the first) with “Driving” and “Phone and Internet” in this week’s column and “Social and Behavioural” in the next Whimsy in a fortnight’s time.
Anyway, here’s the first list of grievances:
Driving
- Drivers who don’t acknowledge a courtesy, such as being allowed into a line of traffic when they don’t have right of way.
- Slow drivers who sit in the fast lane.
- Inconsiderate drivers who leave a large space in front of their vehicle at traffic lights (meaning that drivers further back miss the lights).
- Indecisive drivers (a particular East Asian nationality was mentioned, but I won’t say which!).
- Drivers at Metro Fyshwick who don’t move their vehicles forward from the pump (as requested) before paying for fuel.
- Cyclists who ride on the road obstructing traffic when there’s a perfectly good bike track paralleling the road.
- Drivers who park across walkways.
- Reckless e-scooter riders.
- Drivers who speed past you along traffic lanes that are clearly closed ahead, then try to cut in.
- Drivers who don’t dip their lights at night or who have dazzling headlight systems.
- Ditherers who stop at the entrance to a roundabout when nothing’s coming, and those who don’t indicate when they’re leaving a roundabout.
- Tailgaters.
Phones and Internet
- Being put on hold for long periods without being given a callback option.
- People and organisations that don’t reply to emails.
- Not being able to get past a bot to reach a human to deal with an issue.
- Continual IT software updates “to improve security” and seemingly unnecessary design changes to charge plugs and cables.
- Delays by financial institutions in crediting funds when the electronic transfer is instantaneous.
- Businesses that try to fob off customers with FAQs, “community responses” or generic answers.
- Businesses that tell you to listen carefully because their phone options have changed when they haven’t.
- Having to continually make “cookie” choices.
- Being referred to overseas call centres to deal with problems that should be resolvable in Australia.
- Theatregoers who use their smart phones in a darkened theatre.
- People who have loud phone conversations on public transport and in public areas. (Years ago, when mobile phones were just becoming available, I was at the Canberra Qantas Club and a pompous APS management type was striding about talking loudly into a mobile phone to underline that he was important enough to have one. Then it rang – showing that he hadn’t actually had anyone on the line. Everyone laughed to see such sport and the dish ran away with the spoon.)
- Managers who expect staff to be electronically accessible 24/7.
- Cold calling and scam phone calls, emails and texts.
Well, there you have it. If you’re an offender, here’s your opportunity to modify your behaviour and annoy others less in 2025!
No doubt readers will have other pet “Driving” and “Phone and Internet” hates they could list in letters to CityNews (letters@citynews.com.au).
On a lighter note: The annoyed hotel guest eventually caught the eye of the waiter and said: “I’d like to order breakfast. I’ll have an overdone fried egg, a soggy slice of bacon, runny baked beans, a dried-out sausage, and mushrooms past their use-by date – followed by toast that’s slightly burnt.”
The waiter looked puzzled. “That’s a very complicated order sir; I’m not sure the chef can manage it.”
“I can’t see why not,” replied the guest, “that’s what he gave us yesterday.”
Clive Williams is a Canberra columnist.
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