“I think that if you play the role of a primary carer, irrespective of your gender, it’s stressful,” says Mike Peereboom, ACT volunteer for Dads Group. 

“You become anxious, and you become isolated, to a certain extent. 

“It’s just a huge shift, from independence, to having a dependent that has significant implications on your freedom, and the way that you can go about interacting with others and executing ordinary day-to-day tasks.

“So I think Dads Group… provides connection, at least the social aspect. It provides connection and support.”

In November 2022, Mike moved from Sydney to Canberra with his wife and two young children. 

For the first six months, Mike says he stepped into the role as primary carer, but was completely in the dark about where to go and meet fellow new dads.

“I wanted to connect with other dads who were in a similar stage of life. I wanted other men to share the journey with, and wanted to see my kids make friends, too,” he says.

He had joined the Dads Group, a national not-for-profit, in Sydney and was looking for something similar. He contacted Dads Group and asked if they knew of anything. They suggested he start a branch in Canberra.

Dads Group is all about equitable, positive, strength-based parenting support, Mike says. 

It started 10 years ago when the current CEO, Tom Docking, had his first child and was confronted by loneliness and lack of support.

Initially, Mike says he just ran a mid-week catch-up at a playground.

Now, through Dad’s Group, he hosts a barbecue on the first Saturday morning of every month, and a mid-week meeting every Wednesday, during the school term.

He says the secret to the barbecue’s success is because of its simplicity. 

“It’s just a gathering of dads and their kids at a playground with coffee, bacon and eggs,” says Mike. 

“It’s a simple formula that provides new fathers with the connection and support they desperately need.”

Mike says the only qualification for attendance is that you identify as either a new, or expecting father or father figure. 

“In Australia we are privileged to have a huge amount of support for mothers through antenatal classes, maternal child health, mothers’ groups, professional support services for mothers and playgroups,” he says. 

“These institutions in many ways have been the backbone of new community growth and had a huge impact on our culture.”

“Mum does most of the work… it’s true, but that doesn’t mean that dad doesn’t have his own challenges to negotiate.

“New dads can feel just as anxious, stressed, lonely and overwhelmed as new mums but are often forgotten in the equation.”

Mike says having a community of dads helps them to find their way through those challenges.

“I’ve met up with heaps of dads in the last six months who, they’re on pat-leave, and they’ve got a two-week-old, and they’ve never changed a nappy, and their kid’s not sleeping the way that they would hope for them to be sleeping,” Mike says.

“They chat with me, and they feel stretched and stressed.

“I’m not an expert, but it actually is meaningful to be able to say: ‘That’s hard, that’s exhausting, these three things that you described seem like a pretty common experience, but that other thing that you said, that’s a bit of an outlier to what I would consider to be normal for a first-time parent, and that’s maybe something that you need to address.’ 

“When it’s your first time being a parent, it’s hard to know what’s normal.”

Unfortunately, Mark says he won’t be able to keep organising Dads Group events forever, as his youngest child is now three, but he hopes he will find someone to pass the baton to soon. 

Anyone interested in attending a Dads Group event or joining the team as a volunteer, Mike says to reach out via the national Dads Group website or via the Dads of North Canberra Facebook page.