“Men have somewhat arrogantly tended to think that women wear make-up and high heels to try to subvert them into a relationship and marriage. That may be partly true, but it’s much more complex than that.” Whimsy columnist CLIVE WILLIAMS tries to make sense of make-up and high heels.

“If you’re given the choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older the money will be your sex appeal.” –Katherine Hepburn

You may wonder why women go through the time-consuming ritual of applying make-up and suffering the pain of walking in high heels.

I noticed that in America women go to work in flat shoes then change into high heels when they get there. So, in an everyday context it’s more about the destination than the journey.

Having studied psychology at the ANU and being married for quite a few years I’m aware that there’s more to this issue than may superficially appear to be the case. 

Men have somewhat arrogantly tended to think that women wear make-up and high heels to try to subvert them into a relationship and marriage. That may be partly true, but it’s much more complex than that.

At play are evolutionary and social psychology, cultural and fashion norms, psychological identity and self-expression, and social expectations and pressure.

To take these in turn, first evolutionary and social psychology:

• Make-up exaggerates cues of fertility and health. Clear skin, bright eyes, red lips, facial symmetry can signal attractiveness on a subconscious level.
• High heels change posture – lifting the hips, accentuating the calves, altering gait, which historically has been seen as sexually attractive.

So, yes, part of the original social power of both make-up and high heels may stem from attractiveness signalling.

Second, cultural and fashion norms. Over centuries, make-up and heels have become symbols of fashion, sophistication and status, not just sexual display:

• In many professional or societal settings, women may wear them to signal competence, control, or authority – the same way men might wear a suit and tie.
• High heels can make a woman appear taller, more assertive, or more commanding – useful in competitive environments where physical presence affects perception.

Third, psychological identity and self-expression. Many women describe wearing make-up or heels as a way to express identity, creativity, and mood:

• Make-up can feel like armour – a psychological boost that changes how one feels about oneself, not just about how others perceive them.
• The ritual of getting ready can create a sense of confidence and composure, even if the physical experience isn’t always comfortable.

Fourth, social expectations and pressure:

• Many women feel socially expected to look a certain way, especially in workplaces or media-driven cultures.
• That expectation – often created and reinforced by both men and women – can make appearance feel like part of the “performance” of being taken seriously or dressing for promotion to the next level.
• Some discomfort is endured for social legitimacy or professionalism, rather than attraction.

In summary, make-up and heels are a cultural performance of power, identity and beauty, with roots in attraction but in modern contexts they portray status, confidence and intimidation.

Ultimately it depends on the woman, the setting and the intent.

Next Whimsy I’ll take a look at men’s grooming and dress to see what that’s all about.

On a lighter note: A married couple is celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary at home, just the two of them.

After a few glasses of champagne, the husband looks lovingly at his wife and unwisely says: “Honey, after all these years, be honest with me. Have you ever cheated on me?”

She sees an opportunity to have some fun at his expense. She sighs. “Since you’re asking … I have – three times.” 

“What? Three times?!” he exclaims. 

“Let me explain,” she says gently. “The first time was when we were just married. You needed that heart surgery, and we couldn’t afford it. I… made a deal with the surgeon, and he did the operation for free.”

The husband blinks, stunned. “Wow… I guess I owe my life to that.” 

He takes another sip and asks: “What about the second time?”

“Remember when you were passed over for that promotion? I met with your boss, and after… some persuasion, he gave you the job.” 

He rubs his forehead. “And I thought I’d earned it, but, well, thank you.”

Then he asks nervously, “And the third time?”

“Do you recall two years ago when you wanted to be elected president of the rugby club – and you were 13 votes short?…”

Clive Williams is a Canberra columnist.

News all day, every day at CityNewsQBN.com.au.