Mopping coffee from his saucer, “Whimsy” columnist CLIVE WILLIAMS wonders why cafes choose four-legged tables over three-legged ones…  

EVERY time I sit at an outdoor café table that rocks due to the uneven floor, causing my coffee to spill, I wonder why table makers insist on making café tables with four legs. 

Three legs would avoid the rocking problem and the need to stuff a napkin under one leg. With three legs, I could drink my coffee in satisfied harmony with my surroundings.

Three-legged tables are generally more stable than four-legged tables because they distribute weight evenly across three points. 

Three-legged tables also tend to be more aesthetically pleasing with a minimalist and modern look. A further benefit of three-legged tables is their ease of use and maintenance. 

Three legs also make for a lighter portable table than four. Because they have fewer legs, there are fewer areas to clean. They are also more portable. 

At an outdoor café setting for four people, a square or round table with central support and three points of ground contact wins out every time.

Thinking outside the box, a triangular table for three people with a leg at every corner might be a good option for groups of three to six. Triangular tables have several advantages over traditional square, round, or rectangular tables. They occupy less floor space, so are ideal for areas where space is limited. They add an element of visual interest to any setting. They are lighter in weight and easier to handle, making them ideal for locations where furniture is frequently moved.

To be objective one should also look at the issue from a four-legged table’s point of view: “We have a wider base, which reduces the likelihood of us tipping over. We also typically have more surface area, which can be useful if you need more space to work on or display items.

“In addition, we can be used for a wider range of purposes, such as dining tables, desks, and work tables. A rectangular table for six needs the stability of a leg at all four corners. We are also a better choice for applications where safety is a concern, such as in schools or in homes with children. On the downside, we acknowledge that we are hopeless on an uneven surface.”

In conclusion, the choice of a three-legged table or four-legged table should depend on the context and specific needs and preferences. Three-legged tables offer many advantages in terms of design, versatility, ease of use and, most importantly for alfresco coffee drinkers, they provide stability and less chance of your coffee ending up in the saucer.

On the issue of stability: three males – an accountant, an artist and an engineer – are having drinks. The conversation turns to the most important female person in their lives. 

The accountant says his wife is his rock, his stability, the foundation of his life, a value too hard to quantify. 

The artist says his mistress is his muse and inspiration. He owes to her his very artistic soul and without her he could not paint. 

The engineer says those are certainly great attributes, but the better option is to have both a wife and a mistress. 

“Both?!” the accountant and artist exclaim in surprise (not being French). 

“Yes”, the engineer explains. 

“First, you tell your wife you’re with your mistress. Then you tell your mistress you’re with your wife. Then you have time to go to your shed and build stuff.”

Clive Williams is a Canberra columnist.